You might not be the Best and That is Okay

 

an excerpt from Ansatsu Kyōshitsu manga by Yūsei Matsui

you can buy it at amazon

 

 

I want to share the excerpt I shown above because I found it relevant for me and I hope it might be relevant for you too. Before you continue reading, please understand that this is just my personal opinion. My high school life was a constant reminder of how different people are in the eyes of society. There was this side of gifted people; genius in academic, or sport, or art, or all of them (not joking, this kind of people exist), and there’s me at the other side; “the others”, people without remarkable achievement. The gifted people received awards, appreciation session in flag ceremonies, and more mentions in speech or documentation. And, guess what, they were the majority in my school. I guess we didn’t really fit in the “winner” culture of the school. We, “the others”, were just like figurants, uncredited actors who play as soldiers killing each other in  the background of a more memorable protagonist vs antagonist fight in a colossal war movie (but we were the minority, so it’s quite confusing). We were not bullied or anything like that, we were just ignored.

Looking back, that treatment of ignorance gave significant impact on us, or maybe just me. It hit my self-esteem and my view on the future. Why do I have to work hard? The gap between me and people above me are constant anyway. It’s an unhealthy thought, but nonetheless persisted.

It took sometime, but I found out about why I was so wrong (never knew it could be so wrong, Boyzone, got the joke? No? Ok, just forget about it). The similar thing with the excerpt above; I don’t have to be like them. I don’t have to be better than them. I don’t have to be the winner in their game. It’s not a competition against them; it has never been a competition. I made such illusion and I always see people above me in my own illusion. It distracted me from the fact that I will always worth more as myself.

And if you’re feeling the same thing like I did before, I hope this post may help you. There is always something in this world where you can never lose to anyone; being you. Be yourself, enjoy yourself, improve yourself, and compete against the present you; because you know that there is no one but you who can be the best of you.

Confusing? Full of nonsense? Welcome to Anton World!

Sahabat…

Hehe.. ada orang yang bikin lagu tentang sahabat.

Kita bernyanyi untuk sahabat♫…

Arti sahabat ooo…♫

Persahabatan bagai kepompong…♫

Hehehe…cukup deh dengerin Anton nyanyi, kalo kelamaan kan musti bayar (hoeeek hoeeek hoeeek).

Nah kebetulan tema ini nyantol di kepala gw tiba-tiba dan gw juga keinget satu strip kartun di koran kompas “Benny and Mice” yang edisi entah kapan. Begini ceritanya (tanpa gambar dan cuma seinget Anton):

Mice: Ben, liat nih friend gw di Facebook udah 50!

Benny: Ah, lu kan ga pernah ketemu juga.

[Esok hari]

Mice: Yes, friend gw bertambah lagi! Cihuy!

[Sebulan kemudian]

Mice: Wooohooo! Friend gw udah 100!

[Tidak lama]

Mice: Ben, pinjem duit dong! Mau bayar tagihan internet. Abis duit gw.

Ben: Beh, pinjem aja sono sama friend lu di Facebook!

Moral of the story: Meskipun kamu punya ribuan teman di dunia, hanya ada satu atau segelintir saja orang yang bisa menjadi tempat pinjem duit andalan sahabat.

Girls, forgive me…

There were a lot of people I’ve hurt in  my life and it seems I can’t forget about it.

I want to say “I’m sorry. How can I make it right?” but I just can’t.

Well, apparently I want to type about the girls right now, so the men would wait for good.

Some of the gals I’ve hurt are:

—My Mom

My mom has given everything for my sake. She has a great expectation on me. It was her dream that I would make it to UI (University of Indonesia). Yes, that was her dream. She came from a small town, and UI was like “the greatest university an Indonesian can go to”. She failed when she was young, and she wanted me to go there to fulfill the dream she failed.

Well, at least until my progress report. She saw my progress report, it was bad enough to shatter a dream, not to mention that I had no choice but to go to the social study class. It wasn’t bad for me, but a real slap on her face it was. A slap to wake her up from her dream. Her son is not good enough for UI. Now, she does not talk about UI like she usually did.

She did not say it. But I know, the day she saw my report…

she was really disappointed.

Mom, I’m sorry…

I mean it.

–

–

—GSS

I was a first grader back then. Ms. Maria was my teacher. My class was at the second floor, San Marino elementary school.

I can still remember like it was yesterday. It was just like any normal day. Gabriel Sarah Siregar was a classmate sitting beside me. She was a secretary of the class, and she was writing an academic notes on the blackboard with the chalk.

And she did a mistake with the note. I don’t know what came to me that time, and I just call her “stupid” without hesitation.

Ooowh, man…she cried. Yeah, that’s right. She sat down and cried because of my awful word. She was a little first grader, “stupid” was quite a mocking for her.

I feel soooo bad. So, I did not talk to her until Junior High. Even now, though our relationship is better, everytime I see her, that memory keeps haunting.

I’m sorry, Gabriel !

–

–

—Angela Arlow

I was a Junior High man that time. She was a friend of mine. She asked for my friend’s (a boy) telephone number to me. She intended to say sorry for something and apparently that boy had changed his number. I asked that boy (since I lost his number already), and I told him I gonna give it to Arlow.

The thing is.. he told me that he won’t let Arlow to phone him.

Walah! What should I do?

I made a difficult decision then. I lied to Arlow. I told her he has lost his handphone and currently unable to be phoned.

She believed his friend. A liar. Me.

I’m sorry, Arlow!

–

–

—Floriani Chitra

We were a good friends back then. Well, at least a good acquaintance.

I guess I pulled things to much with my jokes. And she started to clarify the strict line between us. We are not as close as we was. Back then, we used to sent short messages at night just for fun. Now, all messages are only for school purpose. She’s not replying unimportant questions. I know she began to avoid me.

Flor, forgive me, ok?

Sometimes my stupid whim takes control of me. I’m sorry..

–

–

—Evanti Andriani

Ow, another example of the impact of my foolish behaviour. She was a friend, for me. She used to be nice and polite with me.

But my over-weighted jokes went too far and got on her nerves.

Well, not only she’s taking distance from me, she’s oftenly showing her dislikes for me too. I am devastated. This beautiful girl hates me.

An, forgive me please!

–

–

Well, those are just a few of them. They just the first names coming to my mind. There are still a lot of girls I’ve hurt, but maybe I’m not writing it here.