A Reminder of a Blessing

Today is the birthday of a senior I respected. We were in the same high school, but I remember not whether we ever met in high school. I do remember that I met him at my university.

Actually, I knew it is his birthday because of a Facebook notification haha.. so it was not like I put an effort to remind myself about it at all. We were not that close. Infact, I remember not talking to him at all after his graduation. But I respected him for his leadership; he was brash, but calm under pressure and decisive.

I will not talk too much about him in this post. It is not an obituary haha..

Everytime I remember about him, it reminds me of an event in the past. I was a first semester freshman in my uni, and I had been looking for an event which I could join as committee member to provide me with organisational experience. Unfortunately, I was regularly rejected haha.. But in an eventful day, I suddenly got dragged (kidnapped?) by this stranger-i-don’t-know-but-acting-overly-friendly to his event recruitment booth and somehow signed me up without much explanation. It was a funny experience. And I finally joined my first commitee, just like that.

Looking at it, it serves as a reminder of a regular cycle of blessing in my life: failed after effort then suddenly successful without effort haha.. I think I rarely earned anything in my life through my effort; most of them are granted.

Thank you for your help in the past, Mr.Gautama! Thank you for reminding me of how blessed I am!

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I Quit My Company

It is done. I have just ended my story in an organization. A story which started around three years ago. It was scary at first when the thought crossed my mind. I had no assurance that I will ever earned another stable job in the future. I had to leave the people I have worked with for years. But my role was diminishing and the company would eventually need me no more in the reorganization.

I made my decision. I crossed my Rubicon and I could only march forward.

For the friends I have there, well, I will not sugarcoat it by saying something like “it’s not a farewell, but see you again”. It is a farewell. And let’s be frank, it is likely that we will never meet again.

To Karta and Agnes, it pains me to tell you that you are my bane. You are the constant reminder of my failure and my unworthiness. And it has nothing to do with what you did to me. You simply did your best at your work and you got acknowledged while I was deemed as a disappointment. It is a lot more shameful for me because you both are so nice to me. Part of the reason I left is to get my confidence back so that I can see you both as a peer in the future. Sorry and good bye!

To Shirayuki, I just don’t get you. I thought we were close friends. I was going to confide my resignation plan to you earlier than to anyone else but you suddenly turned a cold shoulder to me. Then I found my gift for you returned without any explanation. You also ignored me for days. And in my farewell dinner, you just acted as if nothing happened. I have no idea how things changed between us and I cannot understand. For what it’s worth, there was a time when I pictured us being in a serious relationship. I think you are smart, attractive, frank, and you can lift up the mood wherever you are. I hope you can take care of your health and be genuinely happy. I wish you all the best in your life. Farewell!

But worry not, I am joining a new organization on January 2018 with similar jobdesk and similar pay. My old shuunin arranged it for me. So, maybe 2018 is going to be another exciting adventure.