There were a lot of people I’ve hurt in my life and it seems I can’t forget about it.
I want to say “I’m sorry. How can I make it right?” but I just can’t.
Well, apparently I want to type about the girls right now, so the men would wait for good.
Some of the gals I’ve hurt are:
My mom has given everything for my sake. She has a great expectation on me. It was her dream that I would make it to UI (University of Indonesia). Yes, that was her dream. She came from a small town, and UI was like “the greatest university an Indonesian can go to”. She failed when she was young, and she wanted me to go there to fulfill the dream she failed.
Well, at least until my progress report. She saw my progress report, it was bad enough to shatter a dream, not to mention that I had no choice but to go to the social study class. It wasn’t bad for me, but a real slap on her face it was. A slap to wake her up from her dream. Her son is not good enough for UI. Now, she does not talk about UI like she usually did.
She did not say it. But I know, the day she saw my report…
she was really disappointed.
Mom, I’m sorry…
I mean it.
I was a first grader back then. Ms. Maria was my teacher. My class was at the second floor, San Marino elementary school.
I can still remember like it was yesterday. It was just like any normal day. Gabriel Sarah Siregar was a classmate sitting beside me. She was a secretary of the class, and she was writing an academic notes on the blackboard with the chalk.
And she did a mistake with the note. I don’t know what came to me that time, and I just call her “stupid” without hesitation.
Ooowh, man…she cried. Yeah, that’s right. She sat down and cried because of my awful word. She was a little first grader, “stupid” was quite a mocking for her.
I feel soooo bad. So, I did not talk to her until Junior High. Even now, though our relationship is better, everytime I see her, that memory keeps haunting.
I’m sorry, Gabriel !
I was a Junior High man that time. She was a friend of mine. She asked for my friend’s (a boy) telephone number to me. She intended to say sorry for something and apparently that boy had changed his number. I asked that boy (since I lost his number already), and I told him I gonna give it to Arlow.
The thing is.. he told me that he won’t let Arlow to phone him.
Walah! What should I do?
I made a difficult decision then. I lied to Arlow. I told her he has lost his handphone and currently unable to be phoned.
She believed his friend. A liar. Me.
I’m sorry, Arlow!
We were a good friends back then. Well, at least a good acquaintance.
I guess I pulled things to much with my jokes. And she started to clarify the strict line between us. We are not as close as we was. Back then, we used to sent short messages at night just for fun. Now, all messages are only for school purpose. She’s not replying unimportant questions. I know she began to avoid me.
Flor, forgive me, ok?
Sometimes my stupid whim takes control of me. I’m sorry..
Ow, another example of the impact of my foolish behaviour. She was a friend, for me. She used to be nice and polite with me.
But my over-weighted jokes went too far and got on her nerves.
Well, not only she’s taking distance from me, she’s oftenly showing her dislikes for me too. I am devastated. This beautiful girl hates me.
An, forgive me please!
Well, those are just a few of them. They just the first names coming to my mind. There are still a lot of girls I’ve hurt, but maybe I’m not writing it here.