I = My Father ?

I cannot stop telling myself  to keep a straight face, prevent yawns, and when I have the capabilities, to put some interested expression, whenever my father telling some random information in random session. It seems like it is a very boring event, the way I put it, but the truth is it doesn’t happen on every occasion. Many times the information are very interesting. He has a lot knowledge in his head and he only have a handful time to share them all. He’s like a walking Wikipedia, an exaggeration I admit, but you get the point.

Then, recently I realized I often inform people with random, oot information in many occasions, mostly on journey or on that awkward moment when suddenly the conversation died out for there is no more topic to be discussed. I tried to quantify how many times in a week I do that, and guess what…

I’m turning into my father

*it is interesting to know that “information” often is a source of linguistic mistake made by non-English as first language speaker, because “information” in their native language has plural and singular form, but in English it has only singular form for it is uncountable noun. Oh no, I did it again!

Pot Calling the Kettle Black

Pot calling the kettle black, an interesting idiom. Let me give some brief examples to describe what this idiom trying to express.

There was once upon a time a boy, let’s call him Nes, who sulked and complained about how his subordinate left a very important task for a trivial reason, a weekend holiday, and eventually forced him to do the burdensome task himself. A couple of months later, this very same boy, abandon a task coming from his superior for a different kind, but with similar ridiculousness, trivial reason; he’s in shortage of penny, while the task requires not more than will and energy. He, in my perspective, showed even more impoliteness to his superior in his rejection of the task compared to what his subordinate had done before. This is pot calling the kettle black.

There was also this different boy, let’s call him Fiveio, who complained about his superior was lazy and did not do his duty properly. And guess what, he, also in my perspective, neglect his duty. This is pot calling the kettle black.

The latter especially, brought me a degree of rage. He told me to read a religious book. He complained over and over about his superior’s laziness. He blamed pretty much every setbacks at his superior. Well, I guess I have a look of a kindergarten teacher, so that every kid in the class come to me complaining and sulking for every unwanted deed coming from their friends.

And my dear reader, I am not different so much from these two characters. Just another “pot calling the kettle black”. My friend told me to tell my feeling, my story, to somebody to make me feel better, and here it is. This is my refuge and I hope you understand how much anger I’m pouring to this world, my world.

Kings and Queens to be

Termites have an interesting class system; the commoners: worker, soldier, and the aristocrats: prince, princess, king, queen. It pretty much resembles ant’s. It all starts from her royal highness, the queen, who give birth to all termites on the colony. She also decided which class they will get into, with some kind of pheromone given while feeding, to be the strong and scary soldiers, protecting the homeland and her royal highness, the queen, from any threat, or to be the humble servant, the worker class, taking the most compulsory role, providing food and maintaining the nest for the survival of the colony, as Napoleon put it: An army marches on its stomach. Or when they are seen as fit, to be the princes and princess of the kingdom, the heir and heiress of the great termite kingdom. They are “laron”-s in my language, or you can call it alate, the ones with royal wings and imperial eyes, educated in aristocratic manner for a noble purpose; expanding the great kingdom, claiming lands rightfully owned by her royal highness, which are every land, and preserving the royal blood.

These princes and princesses will be properly prepared until the day they have to quit the nest to carry out their royal duty, their purpose of life, to be the new kings and queens of the new colonies. In areas with a distinct dry season, like Indonesia, these royal children leave the nest in large swarms after the first good soaking rain of the rainy season, with the rain of sadness and love from people they will leave forever, a very sad goodbye indeed, but their destiny requires this farewell.

They will fly, as strong as their body could, as long as their flesh can sustain, as far as their wings can get them, and they will fall. Their wings will be taken afterwards and they will mate. And we have the new heralded Kings and Queens of the new colony of termites.

The new queen can live up to forty-five years, mating and laying eggs for life. And the king, unlike ants, will mate and continues to mate with the queen for life. That’s a very long time of mating, I must admit. Only death will do them part, what a noble family!

But let us see a better look of their life as princes and princesses. They are told all their life that they are the hope of the colony, that they are nobles, they are the chosen few, and that they will fulfil their royal destiny. But little did they know that their life survival chance are low out of the nest, or at least that’s how I see. I see them fly and fly relentlessly around my residence, to the light, all night long, and in the morning, their corpses will be abundant on the floor. A flight of doom. A sad flight. And as I compare the swarm I saw the previous night with the corpses on the floor, survivors, if there’s any, are not much. If only they were workers or soldiers, they would have lived a longer life, in the calm nest, and to die in the care of their brothers, not destined to have this kind of remorseful slumber far from home.

To live rained with all the motivation and hope from others, convinced that we are special and that we are the chosen few, that our destiny is greatness and glory, aren’t many of us lead that life? Aren’t many of us all then fly to the sun with our wings, and found out that, like Icarus, our wings are fake and they melt as the heat of sun demands them to? Or aren’t many of us then, like Phaeton, dare ourselves to ride the sun chariot, and found out later that we are unfit for the great task as Zeus’ thunderbolt is set to strike us?

A very pessimistic view on life, you might say about this post. A story of false hope, of those who doom themselves. But you can see it in a more positive tone with a little help from a simple phrase: what if. What if you are the survivor of the swarm? What if you are the King or Queen to be? I guess that chance, even at its slightest, worth the risk have to be paid when it is found that we are unfit for the prize. We don’t know what is waiting in our path, we do know that some things are inevitable, death, for example, but much else are covered in mystery, and the outcome of this shot, a rise-or-fall shot, which will only come in rarity, is also unknown to us. Maybe that’s why these alate-s keep flying anyway; this shot worth their life.

 ”In the past, I have made no secret of my disdain for Chef Gusteau’s famous motto: Anyone can cook. But I realize, only now do I truly understand what he meant. Not everyone can become a great artist, but a great artist can come from anywhere.”—Anton Ego (Ratatouille, 2007)

Anton’s note: Sorry for the long hiatus, my dear reader! Please be nice to me and leave some comments, with critics and advises, for I know a long vacuum has rendered my post creation ability weaker, grammatically, vocabulary, style, or anything else. And you can always tell me your opinion regarding the topic of this post. I will greatly appreciate them. Danke!

And it’s finally December…again…

Hei ho! Long time no write…and suddenly it’s December now. Time really flies mercilessly. And look! WordPress gives me my favourite effect of the year, the snow!

I welcome Maria, my new reader and follower (one from a very scarce population), and Arum, another new reader (disloyal reader I pray), and Jeremiah, the new kid on the block after Benny. May you all get something good from my world!

I’m older, thinner they said, probably a little bit grown up, and possibly still in the same level of sanity. I’m on my 3rd semester now and it’s really hectic these days. I got a lot of stories to tell, and they’re exclusively for you, my dear reader! It’s quite interesting that I can share a lot more information without a lot of hassle on my virtual refuge (this WordPress blog, which can be read by everyone on the net) than in the real world with somebody I trust.

Time and will are always the constraints to write another post, especially these months with a lot of things going in my life. I can’t promise you soon, or a wonderful post, or anything you will remember, but I can tell you it’s gonna be something from my mind and it has something to do with me. Wait and see!

I appreciate your comments and before I forgot…

Have Yourself a Merry Christmas !

2 Different Strategy

Not so long ago, I was sitting around with two of my friends, chatting. One of my friend was an FTUI student and he’s a good Dota player. He was talking about one Dota round he had at a tournament held at FTUI. To make it short, there were five people in his team: two of them were pro (and three including my friend), and the other two were a kind of retired player, to put it in another way, those two hadn’t play the game for quite a long time and were not on their best performance. My friend told us how the battle went, and there’s an interesting point came out in the middle of his story.

My friend told us that, since the two retired player were comparatively weaker and easier to get killed in the game, the other three bought some expensive items to boost their performance in the game, thus preventing them from getting bullied by the enemies. His argument for that strategy was a weak spot on a team could bring the whole team down, so by covering the weak spot (helping the weak players), his team would have a better chance of survival, and winning the game.

But my other friend on the discussion, a student of FHUI, disagreed. He believed, like the Pareto principle suggest that we should focus on the profitable 20% and ignoring the 80% less profitable, the better strategy should have been by empowering the pros. Spending money on the weaklings would only restrain the pros from securing victory for the team and even putting the team in great turmoil, for the enemies are getting more and more powerful as the game proceeds.

They are two different strategies, taken from two different point of view, and I believe very relevant in reality, not just in that game. Some country gives tax cut for rich individuals believing these people would generate more profit for the good of the people, some country taxes this kind of people more to help those leaving on poverty. Some school focused more resources on brilliant students, giving them better teacher, better facility, better than lesser students, but some school gives extra lessons and more care on those with learning difficulties.

Each of these strategies yields different result. But which one is better? I believe everybody wouldn’t have the same answer on that question.

So what do you think? Support the greater or help the lesser? Or is it possible and efficient to pursue both strategy considering our resource constraint?

Same Number

Lately, I’ve been seeing same digits at the clock often. It didn’t bother me at first, but after a lot of happening, it made me wonder. Some people suggested that probably somebody out there is missing me, and some even had strange theory of numerology.

After some time of thought, I think it’s because I’m feeling lonely. When I’m alone or when I’m nervous, I frequently looked at my watch or my cellphone just to check the time. And more peek at the clock gives a higher probability of looking at the same digits.

What do you think? Care to share your theory? Or experience probably?

Are You on Your Rock?

Archimedes used to demand just one firm and immovable point in order to shift the entire earth; so I too can hope for great things if I manage to find just one thing, however slight, that is certain and unshakable. (AT VII 24; CSM II 16)

Just a little note before you continue, this post doesn’t really relate to rock in reference to a music genre. And it doesn’t come from the idiom “on the rocks”.

Not so long ago, I spent my day with a couple of friends. They were Jeremiah, Benny, and Vina (Benny’s girlfriend) [Lord, we lost another single in our group!]. Come to think of it, it was quite an unusual combination. We went to SMAK 1, watched Kung Fu Panda 2, browsing some musical instruments, and spent our last hours for the day at a cafe, playing cards.

One of the interesting parts in our day-wasting-activity is the last Chapsa game we had (a kind of poker without bets and the aim is to make sure your hands are free from cards). On the moment of truth, the round when almost everyone had the chance to be victor or loser after the present round, Jeremiah, a student of FHUI (a prestigious law faculty on Indonesian soil), spit out double two (a two card and another two card, so we have two cards now, get it?), and smiled innocently thinking he had the highest card on the table. And we just know how to thwarted this little boy with his foul imaginary hope. We told him that in a one-to-one fight, card number two is the mightiest of all, but in any other fight, that card is pretty much a loser kind. So, he protested a little, but eventually accepted it, since the three of us agreed that the rule was universal, and he lost that game.

That incident reminded me of a movie titled “Flightplan” starring Jodie Foster about a woman who lost her daughter in a plane and all the passengers tried to convinced her that she had none. In the end, she found her daughter. If she had believed all the passengers and stopped looking for her daughter, her daughter might’ve been found dead. And, in the same sense, what if we had lied to Jeremiah to win the game, knowing he was quite a rookie on this card game and had no full knowledge on the rule, and he believed us?! He would’ve been conned easily by his foxy friends and lost bitterly because of his friends cunning wits. Or what if there was different rules from different region or high school?

I believe such condition is applicable to almost every aspect in our life where decision has to be made and external influence exists. “What to believe? Should I believe them? I don’t think so, but they told me that… Everybody does it anyway. Nah, maybe it’s just me. It’s just my imagination.” Frequently, we comply to society demands without trying to figure out the truth of it, or we do and we found out that it is wrong but we do it anyway, choosing what is convenient for people around us than what is right and proper, questioning ourselves more than questioning others. If you put it that way, then the truth and fact are what majority or the side with stronger influence decides. I don’t think it is always good. Just like the quotation mentioned above,”one firm and immoveable point” is enough “in order to shift the entire earth”,but yet not easily found.

So, what am I trying to say? I don’t know how to put it clearly, believe me, I’m even confused with the message I’m sending here to you, my dear reader. I think you got to find your rock. A stance where you belong, which is “firm and immoveable”, so that no tide or storm may swept it and you altogether. You have to make sure that you and the rock you’re standing on have the strongest influence on yourself, and decisions you made are in certainty, not in doubt, because you know for sure what is right and what is wrong.

Does the voice of the people represents the voice of God? Not always, I suppose. You can always tell vox populi to shut up when you’re certain.

Confused? Welcome to Anton World!

We can have more confusing conversation about this topic through the comment box.

Little note:

  • Adam, Charles, and Paul Tannery. 1964–1976. Oeuvres de Descartes, vols. I-XII, revised edition. Paris: J. Vrin/C.N.R.S. [references to this work (abbreviated as AT) are by volume and page, separated by a colon.]
  • Cottingham, John, Robert Stoothoff, Dugald Murdoch, and (for vol. 3) Anthony Kenny, eds. and trans. 1984. The Philosophical Writings of Descartes, vols. 1–3. Cambridge: Cambridge University Press. [All quotations are taken from this edition (abbreviated as CSM); any deviations from it are the author's own. References to this work are by volume and page, separated by a colon.]

Fun Train Ride

Going back home to Jakarta from Depok requires me to take the train. A dull trip indeed, deadly boring travel. I’m just standing (or sitting when I’m lucky) for almost an eternity. But maybe that’s not absolutely true. Boredom is a state of mind, and you can always make it fun when you see it differently. So, here’s some funny or interesting events I encountered in my previous trips on the iron carriage.

Seems-like-impossible-mission

Some men trying to take out big bamboo benches and ladders. The benches were large and the ladders were looong. I made a bet with myself that they won’t make it, but alas, I’ve forgotten the fact that when you can get them in, it’s almost unlikely you can’t get them out. And yes, they successfully took those bamboos with some funny move, some yells, and a lot of laugh.

Trusting Peddler, Trustworthy Consumer

It is not an awkward scene for many train commuters to have peddlers putting their goods on their laps (or any part of your body they can put their goods on), muttering something (about  their goods or how legal their job is, or whatever), and left. Then, after 15 minutes or so, they come back for their goods and to receive payments if anyone buy their goods.

I think it takes a lot of trust to get into this kind of business. Look at the bad possibilities: runaway customers, stolen goods, payment refusal, damaged goods, etc. And there’s no guarantee that law and justice will be upheld at all on a train. So, for me, it implies that this kind of peddlers have faith in train commuters, which resulted from a good history of clean transactions, which also implies that these commuters are trustworthy.

Toxic Waste Area

Expect a bumpy ride when you ride on a train, that’s why you should get a grip. And guess what?! I saw it with my own eyes: a man picking his nose and stroke his upil (dried snot? idk) on the grip. Gross!!! And I imagined somebody else had done the same thing on my grip. It’s not impossible, since hundreds and thousands had touch this very grip and I don’t think anyone had clean it in a daily basis. So, beware, train is a toxic waste area!!!

Battle of the Bands!!!

Train is like a music festival stage; you can see about two or three live performances in a one hour ride from different bands. There’s blind man band (consists of blind man and his loyal guide), children band (children with rag cloths), seems-like-a-widow and her daughter band, and more serious bands. Their standard equipment is a speaker (imagine that, more classy than the bands on buses) and the more serious band brings about two or three speakers with a mixer, effect, electric guitars, and drum (no kidding, they’re serious after all). Many of them sing dangdut, old songs, mellow songs, but there’s also those who seriously perform rock and pop songs, and I love it when they do so. Hey, a good song to accompany you makes a fun ride, right?

An Odd Kind of Investment

For the first time of my life, I suppose, I felt an odd emotion. Something that they call “galau”. I’m not even sure it’s Bahasa Indonesia, and I don’t like that word. And yes, for those who wonder, it’s because of a lady.

She made me live in a roller-coaster mood: very happy at one time and sad at another time. I even got the feeling I was being toyed.

Then I made some discussion with myself and I realized it had to stop. So I tried to think what to do with my relationship. Every man needs a life partner, a fiancée, a wife. That is true, but I don’t like to be saddened because a lady ignored me. Then I got a brilliant idea: I can treat it like a kind of investment!

Let’s say that our concern, time, and perhaps money spent on somebody just like a trade-off we need to pay on an investment (that person). Like buying gold, oil, or stock, you buy them now, hoping that the price will rise and you can make some profit of it in the future. You chose your investment carefully, watching its profile, judging its performance over time, and deciding whether it worth your sacrifice. But you never really know the outcome, you speculate, no matter how smart or how well-informed you are, you can’t see the future. It may rise beyond your wildest dream, rocketing to the sky, just like property, gold, oil, or stocks at some point of time and condition, or it may default and let you wish you had not invest on that bloody thing at all. Interesting events might affect your investment, like: war, natural disasters, scandal (remember Enron?), mortgage crisis, new technology, etc. And in this romantic relationship, you pay the necessary “love” over and over again, wait a little while, hoping that this relationship may get mature and profitable in the future. Then it goes pretty much the same like other kind of investment, it may be a diamond mine, or a chat en poche (cat in a sack). That’s why you have to select carefully, watch it closely, nurture it well, and wait patiently. And you can always choose to put your “eggs” on many “baskets”, just to minimize the loss if bad thing happens. Hey, it’s not like you’re committed already anyway, you’re just investing.

This point of view does help for me. It enables me to control my emotion better, and holds me back from falling to another “galau” state.

So, ready for this odd kind of investment field?

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“Attraction is an emotion. Emotions are not based on science. And if you can’t quantify or prove that something exists, well, then in my mind, it doesn’t.” —Scarlett’ O’Hara (G.I Joe Rise of Cobra)